Holla,
I know I rarely speak to you all. I am not the super random talker. When I speak its with a purpose. I will leave the "talking out your ass" to baby mommas and bloggers. Shouts out to you both. But when I have something to say its usually something interesting or at least something you can critique. For whatever reason! So I have something to say.
First, I am going to say a couple random things. Mars Volta is my new favorite band. Sorry Bloc Party! Be ready for Wa'Jee's new project "The Guilty Pleasure". And check out FCS and Younger Frame...if you haven't already.
Ok, to the point we go. I was asked a question. I am not asking you all the question. But rarely do people text me some random message that make me think. Sorry to those that text me often. I do look forward to not seeing your name cross my screen (yes, I typed that right and no, not all of you). Take this as a rule, if I often don't answer your text immediately then you are one of those people. But I was asked, "What's my opinion of a female that swallows". Please do not continue reading if you wondered what she may swallow. Anyway, I can hear the chants of "bussa", "hoe" and "scud bucket". But really. I mean is she really. Lets hit this shall we.
First, I want to acknowledge something right now. Ladies, if you have given head then you swallowed. (Please read the previous sentence three more times if you said anything close to the following responses "like hell", "not me" or "he didn't cum in my mouth"). Piece of common knowledge, men don't feel pre-ejaculation. What does that mean for you ladies? If you pull the penis out and he hasn't been erect long enough to pre-ejacualte (meaning he wasn't man-wet and you were on business...good job), then he probably ejaculated in your mouth during the bop. For those unaware to sexual anatomy, men's pre-ejaculation is the equivalent of a female getting wet. Best way I could explain it. So what did you do when the flavor in your mouth changed? Did you think that Uncle Joe's you had earlier finally showed its face?! Uh no! He had Uncle Joe's and jizzed (unknowingly) in your mouth. Its reality. So what's your perception of swallowing now? Low-key, there are a couple females like " I will never bop him again"!
So that's the reality of women giving head. But lets attack the question from the common perspective. It is going to be situational on how much respect will be retained or lost (you never get kool-aid points for swallowing that shit...sorry). If a guy meets a chick in Washington Park and she bops him the same day and swallows then she is a bussa or whatever you want to call her. If a female swallows her mate's, of title degree, man sauce then she gets a pass. Those are democratic and republican examples if you will. What about those independent examples you say? Well it gets deep. Lets go from reality. If a female is dealing with a guy consistently (and being faithful to him) but he hasn't given her the title and she swallows his sex condiment then I give her a pass. (I know some of you are in a form of this relationship) Same situation. If she has other dips, whether she chews them up or not, then she is a scud. Special pass alert! If a guy is talking to a female for months, or even a year, and they have gotten close to doing some things but haven't boned or gotten pass second base. She hasn't had sexual contact in like three years (in 2006, her boyfriend cheated on her with her college roommate and since has been on the bum dating scene). If he takes another strong shot (with I will GTD in mind) and gets pass the air strip or baldy or bush or whatever. Rubs her right (you know what I mean) and he chews her up. Then she chews him up and, whether accidental or intentional, taste his man juice. She gets a pass. Know why?!...uh...follow my segway...
Whenever a man eats out a female, he also has accepted the female jizz. (Brothers, Please read the previous sentence three more times if you said anything close to the following responses "like hell", "not me" or "she didn't cum in my mouth"). I don't have any real facts. But this is what I think I know, most times if you bopping her right she is more probable to cum off your head. Some females will attest that head cum is more probable but not as enjoyable. What I also think I know is that most females have no control to tell you they are cumming? So they get more ignorant than you when you think you degrading her by jizzing in her mouth. When you thinking "Im bout to bop her until she cry", she already basting your tongue. Its crazy! I believe there are really only two rules for guys and giving head. Don't eat it to beat it. Its cheating. There are special cases. If you can't get up...you damn near owe her especially if she broke you off. And you shouldn't have more than a 20% eat out rate, depending on how many partners you have had. And that's pushing it!
Anyway, I don't know what else I can say. There are many sexual double standards. They suck. My Aunt Ann always says, "I am somewhat proud if my nephew or son is getting theirs but I be damn if I find out my niece or daughter putting out like males". As unfair as it is, we will all live by it when we have children. I know a lot of females that go against the double standard but if they had daughters they would live by the same rule. This subject is really based on when and where you get jizzed (reminder: if you do the act then you were jizzed. AUTOMATICALLY). When did you suck or eat it? Before or after a relationship status was determined? Where did you get glazed? Hair? Tongue? Eye? Where did you do it? Car? Bathroom of Ford City?
But really the true answer is who cares about my opinion. She didn't chew me up.
Check this track out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46zxYJYGnK4
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
NO PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!
I am currently listening to Wa'Jee. Hottest non-commercial rapper out. Shoot me an email if you looking to get familiar.
BTW...how are you?! Shoot me some comments. I know I have more readers. Comment anonymously if you don't want people to know how dumb you are, if you are low-key stalking me or you don't want people to know your real feelings on a subject. I don't mind.
So I want to be honest with you all because I love each and everyone of you. I HATE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. Call me stuck up. I do not care but I hate every moment on public transportation. Coming this August, it may be my full year not having a vehicle since I was 15. You may be thinking, "Man, you better appreciate public transportation". Screw that! I will catch rides. I will borrow cars. I will throw snaps on the petro! There are multiple things that bother me about the public transportation.
First, I hate big people on the bus. Is it me or do they seem to always sit in-between two people? They seem to always have three or more bags from Aldi's and if they took a few more steps they could actually get an entire row to themselves. But nooooo! Fatty wants to come sit her boat-wide hips in-between me and Ms. Daisy. Did we deserve the discomfort for the day?! Do I have 'make me uncomfortable please' on my forehead?! I just don't get it. Give yourself a workout Fat Ass and walk to the back of the bus where there are more seats...SHIT!!
Then, I hate bums on the bus or train. These bastards really shouldn't have anywhere to go but to the nearest busy street to beg for change and back to their box. Everyday that should be their routine. Where the fuck are you going? I don't understand. How do you still have errands to run without a home? Does ComEd send past due bills to boxes now? My main issue is that these cats have a stinch that can light up an entire neighborhood. Hold on let's start at the foundation, do they smell themselves? When I workout, I'm kicking. When I wake up sweating, I'm kicking. You cats don't bathe everyday as I do so the must and residue bum sex build up makes for some horrible smells. Man just typing that made my stomach do a back flip. You know I just really want them to remember when they had homes, jobs and a family that cared about them. Remember those days! Now remember when you were sitting on 99th and Halsted or Belmont and Kedzie and remember smelling a homeless person but not being able to visually locate them. Remember how you felt like someone invaded your circle with their stinch. Remember how you felt like you were violated. Now think about how I feel on this Red Line or 95th bus and do me a favor and walk wherever you are going.
Lets start this one off by giving you a little information. My parents called my sister and I good kids. We were by default. My younger sister is very tempermental and violent so not too many adults wanted to fuck with her. Imagine being a child trying to step into her circle. Me, I didn't like kids. As a child I didn't like kids. Somethings kids did I just didn't understand. I thought kids were crazy and everyone except my sister, a few friends and I were crack babies. I didn't understand why they couldn't stay still for more than five minutes, jumped off high objects, play fought, and more. I was amazed at somethings they did. Now to my baby mommas riding the 79th to Ford City. Keep your child in their fucking seats. Its not cute that the little bastard is running up and down the isle and standing in his seat on the bus screaming to the top of his lungs. I am trying to enjoy a good book or listen to my ipod without blowing out my eardrums to block out this little demon childs reckless behavior. I really am five seconds away from snatching the little bastard by his ankles and holding him upside down as I tear his little ass up like Chicago Public School (CPS) teacher. Better yet, a private school teacher. They beat more ass than any CPS teacher. All your parents have to do is sign that little slip giving them permission and that ass is theirs from 8am to 330pm. And I feel sorry if you were in the afterschool program cause that means you got until 6pm to make out. While we are talking about kids, I hate when I see kids from ages 4 to 10 riding the bus by themselves. Where are your parents? I hate when I see those kids on the streets by themselves. And I know you not an orphan because more times than not they are geared. They are dressed better than some adults. But they out here running the streets at an early age. Its ridiculous.
I have a lot of things that bug the shit out of me about public transportation (ie lack of punctuality, high prices, over-crowded, horrible ride, and more). But the last thing that really bothers me are people eyes. Everyone is just watching each other. You look and catch someones eyes and look away. Look too long or catch someones eyes more than once and you are likely to get into a confrontation. You can tell we are all talking about each other or thinking how miserable the worst off looking people lives must be. But for the most part I think we share the same general thought once you board a public bus or train..."UGH, I HATE GETTING ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER!".
BTW...how are you?! Shoot me some comments. I know I have more readers. Comment anonymously if you don't want people to know how dumb you are, if you are low-key stalking me or you don't want people to know your real feelings on a subject. I don't mind.
So I want to be honest with you all because I love each and everyone of you. I HATE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. Call me stuck up. I do not care but I hate every moment on public transportation. Coming this August, it may be my full year not having a vehicle since I was 15. You may be thinking, "Man, you better appreciate public transportation". Screw that! I will catch rides. I will borrow cars. I will throw snaps on the petro! There are multiple things that bother me about the public transportation.
First, I hate big people on the bus. Is it me or do they seem to always sit in-between two people? They seem to always have three or more bags from Aldi's and if they took a few more steps they could actually get an entire row to themselves. But nooooo! Fatty wants to come sit her boat-wide hips in-between me and Ms. Daisy. Did we deserve the discomfort for the day?! Do I have 'make me uncomfortable please' on my forehead?! I just don't get it. Give yourself a workout Fat Ass and walk to the back of the bus where there are more seats...SHIT!!
Then, I hate bums on the bus or train. These bastards really shouldn't have anywhere to go but to the nearest busy street to beg for change and back to their box. Everyday that should be their routine. Where the fuck are you going? I don't understand. How do you still have errands to run without a home? Does ComEd send past due bills to boxes now? My main issue is that these cats have a stinch that can light up an entire neighborhood. Hold on let's start at the foundation, do they smell themselves? When I workout, I'm kicking. When I wake up sweating, I'm kicking. You cats don't bathe everyday as I do so the must and residue bum sex build up makes for some horrible smells. Man just typing that made my stomach do a back flip. You know I just really want them to remember when they had homes, jobs and a family that cared about them. Remember those days! Now remember when you were sitting on 99th and Halsted or Belmont and Kedzie and remember smelling a homeless person but not being able to visually locate them. Remember how you felt like someone invaded your circle with their stinch. Remember how you felt like you were violated. Now think about how I feel on this Red Line or 95th bus and do me a favor and walk wherever you are going.
Lets start this one off by giving you a little information. My parents called my sister and I good kids. We were by default. My younger sister is very tempermental and violent so not too many adults wanted to fuck with her. Imagine being a child trying to step into her circle. Me, I didn't like kids. As a child I didn't like kids. Somethings kids did I just didn't understand. I thought kids were crazy and everyone except my sister, a few friends and I were crack babies. I didn't understand why they couldn't stay still for more than five minutes, jumped off high objects, play fought, and more. I was amazed at somethings they did. Now to my baby mommas riding the 79th to Ford City. Keep your child in their fucking seats. Its not cute that the little bastard is running up and down the isle and standing in his seat on the bus screaming to the top of his lungs. I am trying to enjoy a good book or listen to my ipod without blowing out my eardrums to block out this little demon childs reckless behavior. I really am five seconds away from snatching the little bastard by his ankles and holding him upside down as I tear his little ass up like Chicago Public School (CPS) teacher. Better yet, a private school teacher. They beat more ass than any CPS teacher. All your parents have to do is sign that little slip giving them permission and that ass is theirs from 8am to 330pm. And I feel sorry if you were in the afterschool program cause that means you got until 6pm to make out. While we are talking about kids, I hate when I see kids from ages 4 to 10 riding the bus by themselves. Where are your parents? I hate when I see those kids on the streets by themselves. And I know you not an orphan because more times than not they are geared. They are dressed better than some adults. But they out here running the streets at an early age. Its ridiculous.
I have a lot of things that bug the shit out of me about public transportation (ie lack of punctuality, high prices, over-crowded, horrible ride, and more). But the last thing that really bothers me are people eyes. Everyone is just watching each other. You look and catch someones eyes and look away. Look too long or catch someones eyes more than once and you are likely to get into a confrontation. You can tell we are all talking about each other or thinking how miserable the worst off looking people lives must be. But for the most part I think we share the same general thought once you board a public bus or train..."UGH, I HATE GETTING ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER!".
Monday, February 2, 2009
I HAD TO DO IT
What is the deal? I know...I know...I have been m.i.a. for a while. Two posts in January?! I'm bogus my bad. I apologize. Do you accept my apologies?
Today, I am in a great place in life. Doubt I ever mentioned this, but I have a music production company. I have three artists (Wa'Jee, Issues...producer, Daykeeper and K.O.). They are all nuts! Trust! Very talented individuals. As talented as they are I don't have the budget to focus on them all so I focus on two that work together heavily (Wa'Jee and Issues). Daykeeper is going to be my most treasured project because she is such a raw talent and we are both venturing into lands we have never ventured into. I think that ends up being fun for me in researching her genre of music's business and her progress as an artist. Anyway to my original emotion, I feel awesome. My company is really growing and we are in the process of accomplishing some goals I have set. We are going to accomplish these goals because of the addition of some very talented individuals onto my staff (that means they aren't artists). Along with business going well, I also am a candidate for the Chicago Fire Department (CFD). If you don't know that's something we Chicago folk call...hitting the job lottery. It's an awesome backup plan if my music business fails (which it won't). So I am so happy.
Anyway, today I watched the Superbowl (wack ass hell up until 6 minutes were left in the 4th quarter). I was at my cousin house with a few friends and family and we were just discussing friends. Through the conversation some religion and relationship things rose and my mind started jogging. I started thinking about the importance of religion in a relationship. I hate to talk about religion in general because christians are typically so easily offended (sorry if I categorized you and you are a christian who disagrees with what I just typed). So I don't like to discuss it but I am going to tackle this with my usual charm lol.
I want to start off by giving you all some history about my relationships with god and love. First, I have no relationship with god. So you ask 'How can I discuss religion?'. I attended religious private schools throughout grammar (baptist) and high school (catholic). I attended church often until I was roughly 14 years young and given the choice to go to church or not...NOT (my decision)!!!!!!!! While attending De La Salle, I really was fascinated with the history of religion (mainly the history of Judaism and Christianity). I felt like I was Neo in the Matrix and given the choice of the red or green pill. I felt like years of slave programming was erased from my brain. I love knowledge and I love the maturation process. Post studies of Christianity and its history, I decided to be agnostic. I felt and believed in a divine power but I didn't have enough concrete information to choose a belief. I don't do Jesus (mainly cause the Jews don't do him and I feel like that's like me saying "Malcolm X didn't mean shit to my people!") and Christianity (or any denomination that falls under the umbrella including non-denomination that some black folks think makes them smarter than those that chose a specific brand for a similar bible, preaching style, idolization habit and a bunch of other bullshit that the white slave master used to socialize our people and passed the torch to our pimping preachers to use on us to get money). But I don't knock anyone elses religion unless challenged (as I so often am by thirsty, hypocrites of the black christian and non-denomination population...SORRY YOU FUCKERS ARE IRRITATING AND PHONY AS HELL!!!!!!!!). Second, love? I have been in love, broken hearts, etc. I have been through it. I have been in the trenches. Outside of marriage, I can be an awesome advisor on relationships, playerism, etc. I am just THAT DUDE! Lol.
So now you know me and where I stand. Here goes my issue. I know a lot of women friends that are into the church and are working towards being saved. Fine! I have no issues with that unless you try and flood my brain with your bullshit. I am offended by a couple of them though. These females are currently celibate (good for them...I'm not going lol), involved heavily in church (kissing their pastors asses...Fine...I'm not going), employed, mobile, not catching any dates, educated, some are attractive and some can dress but may not be attractive, and ALONE. Alone? YES?! Even the bad ones! Why? Fucking pipe dreams! I mentioned in a previous blog that a woman wants a great man that will work, deliver some good penis at least until you are 40, wash the dishes, be nice to visitors and pay attention to you after the game is over. Very general and everyone has their own specific bullshit they want in a guy but nine times out of ten the guy you fall for will only have 70% of what you want and you will be working the rest of your lives complimenting his faults. Its called being in a relationship. Its called work! But back to these chicks...why are they alone? Add those general needs plus MUST BE INVOLVED IN CHURCH OR CARRY MY BELIEFS. I do not agree with the latter at all! I am not saying allow your man to be a devil worshipper at all. But as a brother who is not into the church but still feels as though he has a lot to offer...I am upset by my disqualification. Though, I have dealt with more religious women in my days, my friends disappointment me. What if I wanted to be your man? I would have to start attending church with you. Bahhumbug! Fuck that! I am involved with a woman that is a "god-fearing" woman. But I don't stay in her ear like "You know they threw god in our faces when the lynched us or raped our women or justified their behaviors" or "You know we didn't originally practice christianity before we were kidnapped" and she doesn't beat me over the head with a bible or talk to me like "You need to come to church" or "You gone burn in hell" or "You need some Jesus in your life". Its a beautiful thing. My grandmother spent the last 25 years with the man she married after she divorced my grandfather not complaining that he has never attended a church service with her or that denies virtually every invitation from her to go. She just continues to invite sporadically and let him be. But they have a successful relationship. Its possible ladies. And let's be completely honest there are only three types of guys in church...phonies, gays and lames. You are looking for a needle in a haystack. I know of a woman that waited 24 years to finally get married and have sex after 20 years of celibacy. She married an impotent, unfaithful, phony, ignorant, crazy motherfucker that wasn't worth the wait. Now granted that's one case but its the fucking example I got and its bogus! You may say to yourself "I won't make the same decision". Maybe not. I don't think I can make my point on this blog. My general point is that guys like me are cool, smart, respectable, etc. We are just as awesome and a lot of times better than those cats you dumbass women are praying for. Stop wishing on a star and get out here and mingle and make mistakes like the average man. You don't have t screw to make mistakes. But as the saying goes "I would have rather loved and been loved than not have loved at all". Whoever said that give them credit cause I am not in the mood to google it.
Today, I am in a great place in life. Doubt I ever mentioned this, but I have a music production company. I have three artists (Wa'Jee, Issues...producer, Daykeeper and K.O.). They are all nuts! Trust! Very talented individuals. As talented as they are I don't have the budget to focus on them all so I focus on two that work together heavily (Wa'Jee and Issues). Daykeeper is going to be my most treasured project because she is such a raw talent and we are both venturing into lands we have never ventured into. I think that ends up being fun for me in researching her genre of music's business and her progress as an artist. Anyway to my original emotion, I feel awesome. My company is really growing and we are in the process of accomplishing some goals I have set. We are going to accomplish these goals because of the addition of some very talented individuals onto my staff (that means they aren't artists). Along with business going well, I also am a candidate for the Chicago Fire Department (CFD). If you don't know that's something we Chicago folk call...hitting the job lottery. It's an awesome backup plan if my music business fails (which it won't). So I am so happy.
Anyway, today I watched the Superbowl (wack ass hell up until 6 minutes were left in the 4th quarter). I was at my cousin house with a few friends and family and we were just discussing friends. Through the conversation some religion and relationship things rose and my mind started jogging. I started thinking about the importance of religion in a relationship. I hate to talk about religion in general because christians are typically so easily offended (sorry if I categorized you and you are a christian who disagrees with what I just typed). So I don't like to discuss it but I am going to tackle this with my usual charm lol.
I want to start off by giving you all some history about my relationships with god and love. First, I have no relationship with god. So you ask 'How can I discuss religion?'. I attended religious private schools throughout grammar (baptist) and high school (catholic). I attended church often until I was roughly 14 years young and given the choice to go to church or not...NOT (my decision)!!!!!!!! While attending De La Salle, I really was fascinated with the history of religion (mainly the history of Judaism and Christianity). I felt like I was Neo in the Matrix and given the choice of the red or green pill. I felt like years of slave programming was erased from my brain. I love knowledge and I love the maturation process. Post studies of Christianity and its history, I decided to be agnostic. I felt and believed in a divine power but I didn't have enough concrete information to choose a belief. I don't do Jesus (mainly cause the Jews don't do him and I feel like that's like me saying "Malcolm X didn't mean shit to my people!") and Christianity (or any denomination that falls under the umbrella including non-denomination that some black folks think makes them smarter than those that chose a specific brand for a similar bible, preaching style, idolization habit and a bunch of other bullshit that the white slave master used to socialize our people and passed the torch to our pimping preachers to use on us to get money). But I don't knock anyone elses religion unless challenged (as I so often am by thirsty, hypocrites of the black christian and non-denomination population...SORRY YOU FUCKERS ARE IRRITATING AND PHONY AS HELL!!!!!!!!). Second, love? I have been in love, broken hearts, etc. I have been through it. I have been in the trenches. Outside of marriage, I can be an awesome advisor on relationships, playerism, etc. I am just THAT DUDE! Lol.
So now you know me and where I stand. Here goes my issue. I know a lot of women friends that are into the church and are working towards being saved. Fine! I have no issues with that unless you try and flood my brain with your bullshit. I am offended by a couple of them though. These females are currently celibate (good for them...I'm not going lol), involved heavily in church (kissing their pastors asses...Fine...I'm not going), employed, mobile, not catching any dates, educated, some are attractive and some can dress but may not be attractive, and ALONE. Alone? YES?! Even the bad ones! Why? Fucking pipe dreams! I mentioned in a previous blog that a woman wants a great man that will work, deliver some good penis at least until you are 40, wash the dishes, be nice to visitors and pay attention to you after the game is over. Very general and everyone has their own specific bullshit they want in a guy but nine times out of ten the guy you fall for will only have 70% of what you want and you will be working the rest of your lives complimenting his faults. Its called being in a relationship. Its called work! But back to these chicks...why are they alone? Add those general needs plus MUST BE INVOLVED IN CHURCH OR CARRY MY BELIEFS. I do not agree with the latter at all! I am not saying allow your man to be a devil worshipper at all. But as a brother who is not into the church but still feels as though he has a lot to offer...I am upset by my disqualification. Though, I have dealt with more religious women in my days, my friends disappointment me. What if I wanted to be your man? I would have to start attending church with you. Bahhumbug! Fuck that! I am involved with a woman that is a "god-fearing" woman. But I don't stay in her ear like "You know they threw god in our faces when the lynched us or raped our women or justified their behaviors" or "You know we didn't originally practice christianity before we were kidnapped" and she doesn't beat me over the head with a bible or talk to me like "You need to come to church" or "You gone burn in hell" or "You need some Jesus in your life". Its a beautiful thing. My grandmother spent the last 25 years with the man she married after she divorced my grandfather not complaining that he has never attended a church service with her or that denies virtually every invitation from her to go. She just continues to invite sporadically and let him be. But they have a successful relationship. Its possible ladies. And let's be completely honest there are only three types of guys in church...phonies, gays and lames. You are looking for a needle in a haystack. I know of a woman that waited 24 years to finally get married and have sex after 20 years of celibacy. She married an impotent, unfaithful, phony, ignorant, crazy motherfucker that wasn't worth the wait. Now granted that's one case but its the fucking example I got and its bogus! You may say to yourself "I won't make the same decision". Maybe not. I don't think I can make my point on this blog. My general point is that guys like me are cool, smart, respectable, etc. We are just as awesome and a lot of times better than those cats you dumbass women are praying for. Stop wishing on a star and get out here and mingle and make mistakes like the average man. You don't have t screw to make mistakes. But as the saying goes "I would have rather loved and been loved than not have loved at all". Whoever said that give them credit cause I am not in the mood to google it.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Are You My Daddy?
Good day! How are you? Leave a comment or something why don't you!
You see the subject! I want to start off by saying...I KNOW MY DAD AND HAVE AN AWESOME RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM! This blog is about an event that touched me. Its about my brothers that choose to leave their children behind and how those children are affected. Lets get into it...
This is the event that got me. Yesterday, I had to pay the T-Mobile store a visit in The Plaza. Waste of a visit but the visit setup this moment. As I left the mall a mother and her son approached. Behind them was the mother's friend and her two children (one being held by the mother and the other was walking and holding moms hand). So as the first mom approached I held the door for them to enter the mall. As they walked pass the boy asked "Excuse me, are you my daddy?". I had no response. But mom had a lot to say. She snapped "You don't fucking ask a stranger that shit! What the fuck is your problem boy?". The boy responds "Well if he isn't my daddy then Gregg must be my daddy". The friend asks "Does he always do that". Mom responds "Yes he does that embarrassing shit. His daddy ain't shit! But that don't give him reason to ask random men that bullshit". She continued to snap but she was out of my range to hear the conversation.
I am lucky to have a father. Not a daddy...sperm donor...or every now and then birthday and Christmas visitor. I have a FATHER! My father raised me to be a man and more. My father is my only father figure. My father is a lot of my friends father figure. I had an awesome family upbringing. I will live the exact same setup when the time comes to be a father and husband to some people. But out of maybe 5 to 11 people that I call friends, only two had their biological dads in their lives. Ridiculous! The reasons for their absence varies. Some are consistent criminals, drug addicts, detached from reality, started new families and more. I can't judge a situation I have never been in but I can offer an opinion. I don't think any man has an excuse for not being in their child's life. My cousin and a cat I am connected to had kids with bussas (hoes) but they are in their child's lives. They are model fathers, regardless of their situations with the mothers or their disappointment in conceiving a child with those women. Drug addicts...hey my grandfather is a drug addict. But he is the smartest, functional and loyal drug addict ever. And he was there for my mother and my three aunts (one of my aunts is not even his child and one of my other aunts is from another woman). He is a father. To this day, he is still doing what he can for them all. And he let everyone know he does drugs and has sex with lots of women. But he is there. Only excuse is death. And if you were in your child's life long enough death is not an excuse. One of my ex-girlfriends lost her father two days before her 21st bday. Another one of my ex-girlfriends lost her father on her 17th bday. Both always gave me the "my dad always said" statements and stories. If you were the father every man should be, ever word and lesson will be carried beyond the grave. My other grandfather passed in '94. I remember seeing him in the hospital. My dad always passes me the same lessons his father taught him. Damn near everytime I did or do something wrong he starts off his scolding with "You know, my dad...". LMAO! Its crazy how it seems like me and my dad made a lot of the same mistakes. In the words of my mentor, "You are your father's child".
Anyway, I have another story to tell. This is just about how ignorant some of you brothers are. When I attended NIU, I stayed on the floor with three cool sisters. We will name one of them Ugly. Ugly was a lame. As freshman, the first couple months you are open to hang with almost anyone just to filter out the people you want to get cool with. So Ugly was attempting to tell us a little about herself and mentioned she was raised by her mom. She was an only child. She told the story of the last time she saw her dad when she was 6. She said when her dad met her he said "This can't be my kid. She is ugly". Last words she has heard from her dad. #1 who the fuck tells people stories like that? That would stay in the "Hurt my feelings" chest forever. #2 how ignorant and out of order was that guy?! Shows up out of nowhere to be an asshole to his child. But the stamp he left on her was obvious. She was really insecure about her looks and (according to the young man she dated) was in need of attention and compliments 24/7. Like she verbally requested these things. Crazy! Brothers, we are the missing piece in a weak, violent, media driven, in-the-box thinking generation. I know some mothers that made up for lack of a father figure in their child's life by being strong women, marrying or dating another man, keeping uncle or grandpa involved etc. And the products of those situations came out fine sometimes. But if their biological father's were positively in their lives, they would be personally and emotionally more secure and ready for life.
Men are fathers and boys are daddys. I can't wait to raise my child. Preferably with their mother but if I have to do it solo...so be it! My three best friends on this planet are all products of a single mom household. And in every one of them I see the impacts. Insecurity issues, the constant want and need for a father figure, dependency issues and more. Its not right...to at least come from lack of a father. I'm not naive enough to just blame those effects completely on lack of a father. But at times, its obvious that's where they originated. To my brothers that read this blog...lets raise a strong generation. Having the village for backup is fine but no one can raise a child like the mother and father of that child. Lets be fathers!
It hurts my heart to post this subject.
Courtesy of The Great
You see the subject! I want to start off by saying...I KNOW MY DAD AND HAVE AN AWESOME RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM! This blog is about an event that touched me. Its about my brothers that choose to leave their children behind and how those children are affected. Lets get into it...
This is the event that got me. Yesterday, I had to pay the T-Mobile store a visit in The Plaza. Waste of a visit but the visit setup this moment. As I left the mall a mother and her son approached. Behind them was the mother's friend and her two children (one being held by the mother and the other was walking and holding moms hand). So as the first mom approached I held the door for them to enter the mall. As they walked pass the boy asked "Excuse me, are you my daddy?". I had no response. But mom had a lot to say. She snapped "You don't fucking ask a stranger that shit! What the fuck is your problem boy?". The boy responds "Well if he isn't my daddy then Gregg must be my daddy". The friend asks "Does he always do that". Mom responds "Yes he does that embarrassing shit. His daddy ain't shit! But that don't give him reason to ask random men that bullshit". She continued to snap but she was out of my range to hear the conversation.
I am lucky to have a father. Not a daddy...sperm donor...or every now and then birthday and Christmas visitor. I have a FATHER! My father raised me to be a man and more. My father is my only father figure. My father is a lot of my friends father figure. I had an awesome family upbringing. I will live the exact same setup when the time comes to be a father and husband to some people. But out of maybe 5 to 11 people that I call friends, only two had their biological dads in their lives. Ridiculous! The reasons for their absence varies. Some are consistent criminals, drug addicts, detached from reality, started new families and more. I can't judge a situation I have never been in but I can offer an opinion. I don't think any man has an excuse for not being in their child's life. My cousin and a cat I am connected to had kids with bussas (hoes) but they are in their child's lives. They are model fathers, regardless of their situations with the mothers or their disappointment in conceiving a child with those women. Drug addicts...hey my grandfather is a drug addict. But he is the smartest, functional and loyal drug addict ever. And he was there for my mother and my three aunts (one of my aunts is not even his child and one of my other aunts is from another woman). He is a father. To this day, he is still doing what he can for them all. And he let everyone know he does drugs and has sex with lots of women. But he is there. Only excuse is death. And if you were in your child's life long enough death is not an excuse. One of my ex-girlfriends lost her father two days before her 21st bday. Another one of my ex-girlfriends lost her father on her 17th bday. Both always gave me the "my dad always said" statements and stories. If you were the father every man should be, ever word and lesson will be carried beyond the grave. My other grandfather passed in '94. I remember seeing him in the hospital. My dad always passes me the same lessons his father taught him. Damn near everytime I did or do something wrong he starts off his scolding with "You know, my dad...". LMAO! Its crazy how it seems like me and my dad made a lot of the same mistakes. In the words of my mentor, "You are your father's child".
Anyway, I have another story to tell. This is just about how ignorant some of you brothers are. When I attended NIU, I stayed on the floor with three cool sisters. We will name one of them Ugly. Ugly was a lame. As freshman, the first couple months you are open to hang with almost anyone just to filter out the people you want to get cool with. So Ugly was attempting to tell us a little about herself and mentioned she was raised by her mom. She was an only child. She told the story of the last time she saw her dad when she was 6. She said when her dad met her he said "This can't be my kid. She is ugly". Last words she has heard from her dad. #1 who the fuck tells people stories like that? That would stay in the "Hurt my feelings" chest forever. #2 how ignorant and out of order was that guy?! Shows up out of nowhere to be an asshole to his child. But the stamp he left on her was obvious. She was really insecure about her looks and (according to the young man she dated) was in need of attention and compliments 24/7. Like she verbally requested these things. Crazy! Brothers, we are the missing piece in a weak, violent, media driven, in-the-box thinking generation. I know some mothers that made up for lack of a father figure in their child's life by being strong women, marrying or dating another man, keeping uncle or grandpa involved etc. And the products of those situations came out fine sometimes. But if their biological father's were positively in their lives, they would be personally and emotionally more secure and ready for life.
Men are fathers and boys are daddys. I can't wait to raise my child. Preferably with their mother but if I have to do it solo...so be it! My three best friends on this planet are all products of a single mom household. And in every one of them I see the impacts. Insecurity issues, the constant want and need for a father figure, dependency issues and more. Its not right...to at least come from lack of a father. I'm not naive enough to just blame those effects completely on lack of a father. But at times, its obvious that's where they originated. To my brothers that read this blog...lets raise a strong generation. Having the village for backup is fine but no one can raise a child like the mother and father of that child. Lets be fathers!
It hurts my heart to post this subject.
Courtesy of The Great
Friday, January 2, 2009
Get Your Mind Right
Happy New Year!
Ok, enough with the holiday bullshit! This year I am going to help get people together. I don't mean I am playing cupid...I mean getting their minds right. There are eight things I would like left in '08! (BTW...these items listed are not in a specific order...just leave it all behind). If you are apart of an item mentioned...uh...well...so the fuck what! Let's get straight to it...
1. Mohawks, high-top fades, graphics and parts- Who in the fuck thought this should was pimp?! If you have done any of these thinking it was cool, I'm going to go down the hair list and tell you why you made a plum-dumb-ass fool of yourself. First, mohawks are for Indians (tepees not dots) and white people stuck in the Motley Crue era. What goofy ass black dude thought that nappy as shit in the middle of his head was cool?! The originators had mohawks that would stand 6 inches high. You can't even comb that shit a full inch into the fucking air and you actually think you hot shit when you walk into a room. And to make yourself feel better about your nappy as texture, you put 360 gel in your shit to make it look better. Your goofy ass just look like Little Richard with a mohawk! High-top fades...you honestly think in '09 the eraser on top of your head is going to get you some head from a new chick. Oh and to my dikes, this doesn't make you look more like a male. It makes you look more like a dumbass confused girl. I saw an interview that Christopher "Kid" Reid did and he even said that the high-top fade was the dumbest hair trend ever. This is coming from the man that made it popular. And you thought that you were so cool you could bring it back. Eat a dick! Graphics and parts...if you are over 13 please stop! Its not cool and its not hot. I don't even care if you are rich. I saw Shawn Marion of the Miami Heat with graphics and parts in his hair...stop it! You are grown as hell. And to those that have actual messages carved in your heads...just as a warning...I know shorties in Englewood that use that shit as random targets. Request that bullshit in the chair at your own risk.
2. Internet Love and Sexual Encounters- If any of you have actually found true love on the internet...congratulations. Doesn't exclude you from being FUCKING PATHETIC! Get out the house and drop all expectations and mingle like a damn adult. Everyone has their hit and misses. Some people just arent made for each other. Damn people (I think this really means ladies...fellas don't complain about this shit), its like shopping. You have to go through several racks of clothing, stores, shelves of shoes etc. to find that great full outfit. You are not going to be able to live your life walking around thinking that "Mr./ Mrs. Right" is going to pop up at your door step. This goes to my ladies...stop thinking you are going to find this awesome dude in church. No church dude is fucking awesome. Why do you think you are never attracted to any of them?! As much as you try it just don't work. To my fellas, stop looking for the free hits and take your ass to the club. You gets no kudos or playa points for bagging off the web. Its downright disgusting playa. I frown upon you goofy ass niggas. Go to Boutique or 151, its like stealing candy from a baby trust me. Don't be scared of the "bad" chicks, they go the fastest cause no one talks to them. They think its them when really its cornball dudes like YOU, ruining the game for a ex-playa like myself. Stop driving up the price of the pussy and keep your wallet in your pockets and your mouth running so smoothly, eyes connected as if she is the only chick in the club, and no studdering like you read books for breakfast lunch and dinner. All this to say...get off myspace, craigslist, facebook etc. and find love and casual sex like normal human beings. Fucking weirdos!
3. Tattoes- I know tats are going to keep growing or at least always have a home in business. People just want to put art on their bodies. I can dig it. I have one. Not gone stunt. But for all my MTV Jamz and BET watchers that like the 50 Cent, Lil Wayne, Baby, and Rick Ross "80% or more of my body has been painted on" style of expression...don't forget...they are fucking rappers, rich and have careers. 50 especially has become an actual business man! You are not going to walk into JP Morgan or even Walgreens with a tat on your neck that says "Get Money" and think you are getting a job. I drove up 111th Street a couple days ago. As I passed Home of the Hoagie I saw a kid with tears tatted on both sides of his face. He couldnt have been no older than 19. He barely had facial hair. Now he can only get employment at two places, the street corners or Universal Music. Damn shame! Please stop the madness!
4. Real Talk and Swagger- If you say "real talk" before anything, I automatically think you are fucking lying or its an exaggerated truth. You are a fucking liar. Shut the fuck immediately after it slips out your mouth. You were probably not talking about anything worth listening to any way. Swagger...people...my fans...my family...everyone...swag is like being sexy. You are no longer sexy when you start walking around like "I'm sexy!". So when you post "Swagger Like Us" on your myspace page or taglines like "My Swag is crazy right now", you no longer have swag. You have shit coming out your mouth and brain. As a matter of fact, a lot of people have swagger like you because you are among 60 million other people that posted that song as their theme song to life. Oh yeah, and your swag is nonexistent. You are crazy for thinking you had any.
5. Shmedium and Mismatched Clothing (basically that '80s/ early 90's garbage)- This is truly not to the designers. I shop heavily on Karmaloop, Dr. Jay's, Bluefly, Giant Peach and RedLemon Store. The designers are on point. See they make the clothes and you put them together. I don't know if you all watched too many M.I.A., The Cool Kids and Santogold videos but you all need to start wearing your sizes and matching your clothes right. I mean I know skinny jeans are whats hot for the ladies...cool...fine and dandy. But fellas, there is a reason you have to sag in order to look halfway decent in your male skinny jeans. The shit is just not cool. I don't want to see your draws and ass. Let me explain what you are doing.Women have purses then they made something the called a "man bag" which wasn't shit but a damn purse. You cats out there rocking clothes like females. At no point and time (unless a dude is rocking a wifebeater for a shirt), should I see your nipples through your t-shirt. I don't care if its freezing outside and you walked out in just your tee. If your clothes had the proper fit I shouldn't see the outline of your nipples. And not only do you wear these little clothing, you "trendsetters" (I'm actually laughing at all of you that call this bullshit fashion) wear the brightest and biggest pair of shoes you can find. You look stupid. 9 times out of ten the shoes are stupid fly. But there is a reason that you feel different and that you think others don't understand how you do your fly. Its because you are dressing like its 1988 and it was 2008, and you look fucking stupid! Get the right sizes, match the colors, and stop making asses of yourselves.
6. Bad Bootleggers- I am not a pirater. I don't buy from bootleggers, hustle-men, or none of those types. So, I can heat all this shit! CDs- first of all most of the "cd men" are aspiring rappers. What type of artist are you if you pirate? Though studies have proven that piracy is a minor reason sales have fallen. That's another subject to venture. Please stop selling cds that are either blank or not the product people want. That's just wrong. Movies- IF YOU DON'T HAVE A SCREENER KICK ROCKS! No one likes your video movie. I hate being in the barbershop watching a wack copy of a movie. Step your game up! Clothes- What happened to the days you couldnt tell if shit was fake (ie Iceberg in 2001 and Coach purses and wallets in 1998)? Now bootleg clothing is obvious (ie Jordans, Red Monkey, Evisu, Prada shoes and NBA coats). Where are you all getting your merch from?! I drive down 63rd and I feel sorry for all those brothers. And the bad part is that they think their shit is real. Just a little anecdote...I was on my way to a studio session. As a friend of mines was getting in the car he began to brag about how he got a deal on Prada shoes and Evisu clothing. He was wearing the clothes and it was obvious they were fake. He was so proud. So my other associate asks him "Is that shit foogazy?!". He replies with a strong "No!". That shit was so fake. He told us he paid $15 per item. Come on now. You get what you pay for! Its the oldest saying in the book. Bootlegg sellers and buyers, please get your minds right!
7. Mass Texting- This New Year I received 33 texts from people I barely speak to. All saying things along the lines of "Happy New Year! I love you and we are going to have a great '09". I don't even know you any fucking more how can you love. Please be kind and just send personal fucking messages. The shit is irritating. I know its so convient to make one message and send it out to multiple people but guess what?! Most of us don't fucking like you! Do not mass text me for New Year (I don't care what you do with your next 365), Valentine's Day (you aren't my fucking valentine), Easter (I am fucking agnostic...come on!), April Fool Day (when I see you I will have a couple of joking words to say), Mother's Day (Not only am I a man...I don't have fucking kids), Memorial Day (my grandfathers weren't alive during the Civil War...who gives a fuck...well if it wasn't for the south kicking the north's ass to the point President Abe had to free our asses to cripple the south, I wouldn't be typing this today...so I guess I should appreciate those that fought), Father's Day (I don't have no damn kids), Independence Day (we still aren't free!), Labor Day (I hate the Labor Day joke forwards...OMG), Halloween (everyone that hits me on this day shall wake up on Nov. 1 with eggs on their vehicles!), Thanksgiving (I hate the forwards), and Christmas (this is not even Jesus' real b-day, I am agnostic, and you didn't get me a gift so I don't give a fuck about your Merry no-gift-giving Christmas ass). And I swear whoever writes my number on those party promoters phone and email listings in the clubs...I am going to gut you and send your insides to Christ Hospital for organ donations (I know most black people aren't organ donors...ignorant negroes say "They gone kill you if you go to the hospital"...that's just nonsense!). I hate seeing Donski, A&O, 3Deep, and all the rest of them scroll across my screen! I don't go to the club so I know it wasn't me!
8. Bogus Bodies- I understand that everyone is not going to have perfect bodies. That's fine! That's real! But don't bitch at me about being fat or needing to workout. I workout...why might you ask? I don't want to end up on Biggest Loser. Take your ass to the gym, get off the birth control...and use rubbers or stop fucking like a jackrabbit, stop eating when you think of food and eat to live, etc. Your fat ass know what you are doing. Don't make losing weight just a New Year's resolution. You always break those, so stop lying to yourself. Just lose weight. Cardinal Fitness is popping up all over. Why? Cause the membership is $20 a month. Less than $1 a day. Kill one of those five pieces (I don't have to say from where or what cause you already know) you eat a day! I hate hearing my mom and dad talk about how in the 60s 70s and 80s everyone valued their bodies. Everyone was active. No video games, cable, chilling in the house if its hot in the summer etc. People moved around and therefore kept pounds off. Women had booties and not a booty-do. Our generation is going to look like garbage by the time we hit 40 and 50. If we can't keep ourselves together when we are young and full of energy then what the hell are we going to do when we get old. Check this out. If you have to do any of the following then #8 applies to you. Ladies if you have to wear a wifebeater, one piece, or some alternative swimwear (anything besides a thin bikini) to feel comfortable at the beach or waterpark. Men if you piss and can't see your dick, when you go out to hoop you are ready to sit down after the first score, if you are having sex and your heart's bpm rises after 2 minutes (yea...that means include that you are a minute-man), and if you sweat profusely while walking around downtown.
Get your minds right!
Courtesy of The Great
Ok, enough with the holiday bullshit! This year I am going to help get people together. I don't mean I am playing cupid...I mean getting their minds right. There are eight things I would like left in '08! (BTW...these items listed are not in a specific order...just leave it all behind). If you are apart of an item mentioned...uh...well...so the fuck what! Let's get straight to it...
1. Mohawks, high-top fades, graphics and parts- Who in the fuck thought this should was pimp?! If you have done any of these thinking it was cool, I'm going to go down the hair list and tell you why you made a plum-dumb-ass fool of yourself. First, mohawks are for Indians (tepees not dots) and white people stuck in the Motley Crue era. What goofy ass black dude thought that nappy as shit in the middle of his head was cool?! The originators had mohawks that would stand 6 inches high. You can't even comb that shit a full inch into the fucking air and you actually think you hot shit when you walk into a room. And to make yourself feel better about your nappy as texture, you put 360 gel in your shit to make it look better. Your goofy ass just look like Little Richard with a mohawk! High-top fades...you honestly think in '09 the eraser on top of your head is going to get you some head from a new chick. Oh and to my dikes, this doesn't make you look more like a male. It makes you look more like a dumbass confused girl. I saw an interview that Christopher "Kid" Reid did and he even said that the high-top fade was the dumbest hair trend ever. This is coming from the man that made it popular. And you thought that you were so cool you could bring it back. Eat a dick! Graphics and parts...if you are over 13 please stop! Its not cool and its not hot. I don't even care if you are rich. I saw Shawn Marion of the Miami Heat with graphics and parts in his hair...stop it! You are grown as hell. And to those that have actual messages carved in your heads...just as a warning...I know shorties in Englewood that use that shit as random targets. Request that bullshit in the chair at your own risk.
2. Internet Love and Sexual Encounters- If any of you have actually found true love on the internet...congratulations. Doesn't exclude you from being FUCKING PATHETIC! Get out the house and drop all expectations and mingle like a damn adult. Everyone has their hit and misses. Some people just arent made for each other. Damn people (I think this really means ladies...fellas don't complain about this shit), its like shopping. You have to go through several racks of clothing, stores, shelves of shoes etc. to find that great full outfit. You are not going to be able to live your life walking around thinking that "Mr./ Mrs. Right" is going to pop up at your door step. This goes to my ladies...stop thinking you are going to find this awesome dude in church. No church dude is fucking awesome. Why do you think you are never attracted to any of them?! As much as you try it just don't work. To my fellas, stop looking for the free hits and take your ass to the club. You gets no kudos or playa points for bagging off the web. Its downright disgusting playa. I frown upon you goofy ass niggas. Go to Boutique or 151, its like stealing candy from a baby trust me. Don't be scared of the "bad" chicks, they go the fastest cause no one talks to them. They think its them when really its cornball dudes like YOU, ruining the game for a ex-playa like myself. Stop driving up the price of the pussy and keep your wallet in your pockets and your mouth running so smoothly, eyes connected as if she is the only chick in the club, and no studdering like you read books for breakfast lunch and dinner. All this to say...get off myspace, craigslist, facebook etc. and find love and casual sex like normal human beings. Fucking weirdos!
3. Tattoes- I know tats are going to keep growing or at least always have a home in business. People just want to put art on their bodies. I can dig it. I have one. Not gone stunt. But for all my MTV Jamz and BET watchers that like the 50 Cent, Lil Wayne, Baby, and Rick Ross "80% or more of my body has been painted on" style of expression...don't forget...they are fucking rappers, rich and have careers. 50 especially has become an actual business man! You are not going to walk into JP Morgan or even Walgreens with a tat on your neck that says "Get Money" and think you are getting a job. I drove up 111th Street a couple days ago. As I passed Home of the Hoagie I saw a kid with tears tatted on both sides of his face. He couldnt have been no older than 19. He barely had facial hair. Now he can only get employment at two places, the street corners or Universal Music. Damn shame! Please stop the madness!
4. Real Talk and Swagger- If you say "real talk" before anything, I automatically think you are fucking lying or its an exaggerated truth. You are a fucking liar. Shut the fuck immediately after it slips out your mouth. You were probably not talking about anything worth listening to any way. Swagger...people...my fans...my family...everyone...swag is like being sexy. You are no longer sexy when you start walking around like "I'm sexy!". So when you post "Swagger Like Us" on your myspace page or taglines like "My Swag is crazy right now", you no longer have swag. You have shit coming out your mouth and brain. As a matter of fact, a lot of people have swagger like you because you are among 60 million other people that posted that song as their theme song to life. Oh yeah, and your swag is nonexistent. You are crazy for thinking you had any.
5. Shmedium and Mismatched Clothing (basically that '80s/ early 90's garbage)- This is truly not to the designers. I shop heavily on Karmaloop, Dr. Jay's, Bluefly, Giant Peach and RedLemon Store. The designers are on point. See they make the clothes and you put them together. I don't know if you all watched too many M.I.A., The Cool Kids and Santogold videos but you all need to start wearing your sizes and matching your clothes right. I mean I know skinny jeans are whats hot for the ladies...cool...fine and dandy. But fellas, there is a reason you have to sag in order to look halfway decent in your male skinny jeans. The shit is just not cool. I don't want to see your draws and ass. Let me explain what you are doing.Women have purses then they made something the called a "man bag" which wasn't shit but a damn purse. You cats out there rocking clothes like females. At no point and time (unless a dude is rocking a wifebeater for a shirt), should I see your nipples through your t-shirt. I don't care if its freezing outside and you walked out in just your tee. If your clothes had the proper fit I shouldn't see the outline of your nipples. And not only do you wear these little clothing, you "trendsetters" (I'm actually laughing at all of you that call this bullshit fashion) wear the brightest and biggest pair of shoes you can find. You look stupid. 9 times out of ten the shoes are stupid fly. But there is a reason that you feel different and that you think others don't understand how you do your fly. Its because you are dressing like its 1988 and it was 2008, and you look fucking stupid! Get the right sizes, match the colors, and stop making asses of yourselves.
6. Bad Bootleggers- I am not a pirater. I don't buy from bootleggers, hustle-men, or none of those types. So, I can heat all this shit! CDs- first of all most of the "cd men" are aspiring rappers. What type of artist are you if you pirate? Though studies have proven that piracy is a minor reason sales have fallen. That's another subject to venture. Please stop selling cds that are either blank or not the product people want. That's just wrong. Movies- IF YOU DON'T HAVE A SCREENER KICK ROCKS! No one likes your video movie. I hate being in the barbershop watching a wack copy of a movie. Step your game up! Clothes- What happened to the days you couldnt tell if shit was fake (ie Iceberg in 2001 and Coach purses and wallets in 1998)? Now bootleg clothing is obvious (ie Jordans, Red Monkey, Evisu, Prada shoes and NBA coats). Where are you all getting your merch from?! I drive down 63rd and I feel sorry for all those brothers. And the bad part is that they think their shit is real. Just a little anecdote...I was on my way to a studio session. As a friend of mines was getting in the car he began to brag about how he got a deal on Prada shoes and Evisu clothing. He was wearing the clothes and it was obvious they were fake. He was so proud. So my other associate asks him "Is that shit foogazy?!". He replies with a strong "No!". That shit was so fake. He told us he paid $15 per item. Come on now. You get what you pay for! Its the oldest saying in the book. Bootlegg sellers and buyers, please get your minds right!
7. Mass Texting- This New Year I received 33 texts from people I barely speak to. All saying things along the lines of "Happy New Year! I love you and we are going to have a great '09". I don't even know you any fucking more how can you love. Please be kind and just send personal fucking messages. The shit is irritating. I know its so convient to make one message and send it out to multiple people but guess what?! Most of us don't fucking like you! Do not mass text me for New Year (I don't care what you do with your next 365), Valentine's Day (you aren't my fucking valentine), Easter (I am fucking agnostic...come on!), April Fool Day (when I see you I will have a couple of joking words to say), Mother's Day (Not only am I a man...I don't have fucking kids), Memorial Day (my grandfathers weren't alive during the Civil War...who gives a fuck...well if it wasn't for the south kicking the north's ass to the point President Abe had to free our asses to cripple the south, I wouldn't be typing this today...so I guess I should appreciate those that fought), Father's Day (I don't have no damn kids), Independence Day (we still aren't free!), Labor Day (I hate the Labor Day joke forwards...OMG), Halloween (everyone that hits me on this day shall wake up on Nov. 1 with eggs on their vehicles!), Thanksgiving (I hate the forwards), and Christmas (this is not even Jesus' real b-day, I am agnostic, and you didn't get me a gift so I don't give a fuck about your Merry no-gift-giving Christmas ass). And I swear whoever writes my number on those party promoters phone and email listings in the clubs...I am going to gut you and send your insides to Christ Hospital for organ donations (I know most black people aren't organ donors...ignorant negroes say "They gone kill you if you go to the hospital"...that's just nonsense!). I hate seeing Donski, A&O, 3Deep, and all the rest of them scroll across my screen! I don't go to the club so I know it wasn't me!
8. Bogus Bodies- I understand that everyone is not going to have perfect bodies. That's fine! That's real! But don't bitch at me about being fat or needing to workout. I workout...why might you ask? I don't want to end up on Biggest Loser. Take your ass to the gym, get off the birth control...and use rubbers or stop fucking like a jackrabbit, stop eating when you think of food and eat to live, etc. Your fat ass know what you are doing. Don't make losing weight just a New Year's resolution. You always break those, so stop lying to yourself. Just lose weight. Cardinal Fitness is popping up all over. Why? Cause the membership is $20 a month. Less than $1 a day. Kill one of those five pieces (I don't have to say from where or what cause you already know) you eat a day! I hate hearing my mom and dad talk about how in the 60s 70s and 80s everyone valued their bodies. Everyone was active. No video games, cable, chilling in the house if its hot in the summer etc. People moved around and therefore kept pounds off. Women had booties and not a booty-do. Our generation is going to look like garbage by the time we hit 40 and 50. If we can't keep ourselves together when we are young and full of energy then what the hell are we going to do when we get old. Check this out. If you have to do any of the following then #8 applies to you. Ladies if you have to wear a wifebeater, one piece, or some alternative swimwear (anything besides a thin bikini) to feel comfortable at the beach or waterpark. Men if you piss and can't see your dick, when you go out to hoop you are ready to sit down after the first score, if you are having sex and your heart's bpm rises after 2 minutes (yea...that means include that you are a minute-man), and if you sweat profusely while walking around downtown.
Get your minds right!
Courtesy of The Great
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