Ten Tips to Help Single Ladies for 2010

ITS FUCKING 20-10! Damn I'm getting old. Longtime no speak people! I'm going to jump right into it...

WARNING: THESE ARE PURELY A COLLECTION OF OPINIONS FROM MY BEST HOMIES AND SOME MAN-TALKS I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN. IF YOU HAVENT HAD A MAN FOR A WHILE OR HAVE BEEN DATING SLUGS THEN WHY NOT LISTEN TO ME. WHAT YOU DOING ISN'T WORKING LMAO! ALSO, THESE AREN'T IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE.

1. Stay Fit! I think this goes without saying. No one wants a fat ass. Well you know what, thats not true. Some people are attracted to bigger people. But most guys would love to have a female that is fit. Especially if you haven't had no damn kids. You have no excuse. Get your ass in the gym. There is barely anything I can say to drive this point home...ah...I got it. Do this! Get bare ass naked. Get in front of that full body mirror you look in before you leave the house and be honest with yourself on whether that sight is worth that "dime" rating you falsify.

2. Celibacy = AIDs. OK OK... A little drastic! Anyway, this new celibacy shit is not helping your campaign ladies. And frankly its stupid. I want to first apologize to those of you who really weren't trying to be celibate and as the months went by with no dates or sexual advances you found yourself saying you were celibate. That's a fucked up situation. I am sure the reason that happened to you is on this list somewhere. Whether it is or is not, find your problem and take care of it. And I know some of you have it connected to your respected faiths. Cool, fine and dandy. But to me it only makes sense for one reason, IF YOU HAVE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE! I hate hearing the statement "I am saving myself for my husband". Seriously! When Joe Blow hit them skins already?! Its a turnoff for me. And most guys that do come at you are more than likely only interested to see if they could hit. Remember, I said most. You just may get lucky and find that guy that is saving himself. Good luck on finding that straight-guy holding hands with men at the gay parade. I am not saying bustdown when you get the urge. But lets take that chastity belt off and throw it in the garbage. Honestly, there is WWWWAAAAAYYYYY to much vajayjay out here for brothers to feel like your shit is just that special to the point we can't keep shopping on these streets. And to extend that point there are too many slugs, gays and DL brothers for women to acknowledge and act accordingly. I don't mean settle but definitely adapt to the circumstances.

3. Approach What You Want. This is not 1927. Its ok for a lady to approach a man. I especially am retarded to when a woman is throwing signals. Get your ass up! We do it! You drop the ball going home upset that someone didn't get at you. You want to show independency, strength and confidence as a woman...start approaching men! And the shit is sexy if you do it right. Women claim to be so slick and smooth about everything.

4. Become Unassuming. Stop judging guys before they speak or approach. Leave the attitude at home. I know some good dudes that get shot down a lot. Women are some of the smartest dumbest people walking the planet. You want the wanted and attractive dude. You want the smart and well dressed man. And you should. But sometimes those guys are not the ones who are BEST for you. Most times those are the guys you claim you don't want. Those guys are the dogs, whores and playas because they are so wanted. But the brother who is missing the attractiveness or may not have the aura of a wanted man is dissed before he even decides to approach you. Ladies please chill and take a listen to that guy that is missing one or two physical/material things you want.

5. No one cares about your independency. Men probably feel the same about independency that women feel about guys saying they have a big dick...IF IT WERE REALLY TRUE THEN YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL ME OR BRAG. I am so proud of a woman that is independent. If she really doesn't need her man, or any guy for that matter, to do anything for her, educated, has her own car and house etc. then I am one of her biggest fans. I can't stand a chick that celebrates how she is using guys (usually selling mad pussy-coupons low-key). That is not an independent woman. Period! Keep these words out your mouth when talking to a man, "I dont need no man to help". Broken down its great! But naturally we are providers. We want to do for our women and want to be needed. Not as much as we don't want to be used, we also love the feeling of being needed. At the end of the day, you could be the most independent woman on earth and not need my money but as a man I will strive to provide for you because I want to. Basically, don't be a bitch because you got your shit together.

6. Ask your dad for more advice. Women talk to other women about men. And they trade shitty experiences looking for a solution. Someone tell me where the sense is in that equation. No experience is exactly the same because the people are different. Now if you are Jane and are currently being dogged by James but you are friends with James' ex Samantha then hey feel free to ask Samantha some questions. She has experience with your man. Also, we know each other. I don't ask my dad for advice on my girl. I talk to my momma. I think it just makes sense. That is all!

7. Stop looking for the perfect man! He does not exist! That's just common knowledge. No one is fucking perfect. Some of you goofy ass women have these requirements of your man. Its cool to have standards but you are not going to find the dude who possesses all that your heart desires. I laugh at females that give me the "Damn, you would be perfect if you went to church" speech. In my lifetime, I think I have had three good women say that. Guess where they are? Single. Seriously, you can't date me because I don't believe in your imaginary friend?! Hilarious! I don't like to say settle because it has a negative connotation. But think perfect man and give up things that you think you can change or will be tolerable. I think unhappily going to church with you on Sunday's is not going to make our relationship better. And I'm too strong of a thinker to be talked into some shit I did not believe on my own. I would hope that would get more points.

8. Kill your dumbass man rules. Live! This is referring to those females with timelines on when they will do certain things like kiss, sex, buy gifts or introduce a special someone to your parents. I know you don't want to be looked at like a slut or even bring someone to the family that won't be there for a lot of years to come. So I understand being careful. But drop the timelines and just live. Let things happen naturally. We are at the age where guys know who ain't worth shit and who is living. Shit have sex without a title. Might get you a title. I have some friends that can attest to the success of letting go. And they are in successful relationships (at least so far). My point is that for a guy its much more frustrating feeling a female is putting up a barrier and you actually like the girl. Once again I want to say this can be referring to ANYTHING, not just sex. That's a very tough feeling to have when if I were the guy I am doing things I don't usually do. I may be spending money, introducing you to all my friends or whatever it might be that I am not accustomed to doing. Ladies let go. I definitely understand the need to be careful but sometimes it hurts you.

9. Everything you expect in a man, make sure you have it before you talk about how less of a man he is. First off only 45% of the women really do this. I think most of the women that really have actually don't voice this because they are usually in the position to meet men of their status. But you worthless, phony and less than $35k making hoes can bite me. Don't diss a guy about shit when you struggling to make ends meet. That shit blows me. Compliment me. I hate hearing when females say she needs a guy that has this or that. Most times its because she don't have the shit her damn self. Get your shit together and check back. Or keep trying to sell your wack ass pussy to guys above your pay-grade and societal status. Material GIRLS!

10. Leave your relationship with god sacred! I honestly just don't think that having a religious relationship with my mate is mandatory for a successful relationship. That is my only issue with women and god. I don't mind a woman having a relationship with god. Its not like you cheating on me and I know it. My problem is that I don't need to know god for us to love each other to the best of our abilities. We don't need to share political views, musical tastes, favorite recreational activities etc. I am not going to talk about you going to church when we wake up Sunday morning. I might make your breakfast before you go, no matter what service you attend :). I promise you though, the more you press this issue the more problems you shall create.

I don't think this is as entertaining as the others but I am back on my blog shit. I will heat up. Trust me!