I'm Back Joe!
As you can see the topic has been chosen. It's very easy to fall into a cliche mode by explaining the differences between a hoe or a housewife. I don't want to go there. Those titles come in degrees. Let me explain. A hoe can be broken down (or included) into sub-categories (ie bustdown, cunt, whore, slut). Contrary to popular belief, those women are not the same. What the duties of a "housewife" should be is under your own personal perception! With all that being typed, I'm not going to discuss that angle. I want to talk about how I evolved through life to go from wanting a bustdown (that's right you read it!) to wanting to make a life with a good woman.
I have been through a couple crazy relationships in my day. I remember being with my first bustdown. And when I say "being with" I mean I wifed her. How naive I was?! The signs were there, friends pleaded their case and most important of all my mom told me. Mom knows best! I remember I was coming out of a relationship with a smart and physically gifted young lady. She was nice. With the bussa, she was physically gifted but she let everyone open the gift. She caused many problems for me. I honestly can't tell you why I kept fucking with this girl. As I think back I remember being weak mentally and emotionally. I was maturing and coming into my own and much like a caterpillar you are vulnerable to things as you grow. I was into drinking (everyday) and smoking (at least two times a week). I had weak guys around me that brought me down. Some of these guys are still in my life but Im stronger than before and I dont indulge in their bullshit. Anyway, whole other subject (Friend or Foe?...sounds good). Anyway, I was dealing with my parents divorce and the many things that comes with that (ie financial, emotional, mental and family stress). What can I say she capitalized? But there definitely was a star that came and casted a light on her evils and that young lady made me want to be a better man.
In the same college arena (oh yeah, if I didnt mention...the bussa came from NIU) came a young woman that made me want to do better. She actually was the model of the woman that I probably need. She had her rumors surrounding her but I don't give a fuck about that shit. What she did for me was made me want to be better without saying shit! Much like my dad in grooming me as a player he showed me what I had to do and let my personality take over from that point on. I left NIU and she continued to encourage. She never tore me down when I was doing something wrong. Instead I would have to deal with not seeing her when I was doing something crazy or just completed being crazy. She was the first female that made me believe the most cliche black statement ever made...Behind every strong black man is a strong black woman. Before her I thought I was Superman and that everything would come to me, including success. With her I matured to know that I was vulnerable and that if I don't protect myself no one else would and that I have to work for success and every thing that comes with it. Now we are no longer together but she is one of my best friends. I have been in a couple brief relationships since and they have been great women (housewife types). To also give them credit, I have learned and continue to learn from them as they continue to be great friends.
I don't know where else to go with this subject. This is a pretty weak blog. But I feel like its evident what everyone would want in life. As a man, you want a great woman that will work, deliver boys, cook, clean and be hospitable to your visitors. As a woman, you want a great man that will work, deliver some good penis at least until you are 40, wash the dishes, be nice to visitors and pay attention to you after the game is over. But on the subject of why one may attract shitty mates...that's for you to decide. You can say opposites attract or you can also be accurate with "birds of a feather flock together". The answers aren't wrong. I personally know that the time I was with a bussa and the times that I have fucked a hoe, it was me! Me! No one else to blame. I was fucked somehow. Whether it be for the reasons detailed in college or those lonely weekend days where a brother just goes through their entire phone book to find a hit (sorry, yes that's why I called you for real...that's for those that I called or texted out of nowhere after 10 pm). Doesn't matter, I was weak. So who do I prefer, depends on when you ask!
Thanx
Ms. Brown aka My diamond in the rough
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
A**hole or Intimidation?!
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Let me start off with a proper introduction. I am Allen. I am Great. That's all I think you need to know! How are you? Let me know who and how you are...or not...either way you won't bother me. Throughout these blogs you will know exactly how I feel on topics given to me. I will never choose my topics. I never blogged. I don't care for blogging. I was asked to create a blog for my lack of tack and natural willingness to offend anyone. I promised I would try it. So there you have it, my blog serves no real purpose.
Now I begin...
Throughout my life I have dealt with being called many names. I am black-in complexion and race. I think degrading -through name calling aka roasting; jone-ing; heating; the dozens- one another in many forms is one of our favorite pastimes. Our meaning black folks! As of late no one has been clever with their jokes. But I have heard darkness (hating cause I'm chocolate and sexy), blacky, tar, spot and other weak complexion roasts. As of late I have been hearing that i am stubborn. Actually, I have been called an asshole! What nerve, right?!
But I would like for everyone to replace that term with intimidating. I appreciate some of you take me to be superior and that makes you feel the need to call me an asshole. I think its pretty cute! But I am not an asshole. An asshole trips a handicap person at a stop light as they tried to cross the street. An asshole grabs on women's asses in a crowded club. An asshole calls someone at 7 am on a Saturday morning to randomly talk. Me, I curse people out if you wake me up at 7 am on Saturday morning and your Range Rover didn't catch a flat in the middle of Englewood. Me, I curse females out that try to dry hump (doggystyle) my dick in order to get my dick hard ("That hurts bitch, damn!"). Me, I truthfully have never walked an old lady or handicap person across the street. No asshole, I never had the opportunity to (middle finger to those that thought I just walked pass those individuals as they stood on the corner). But I will curse out messengers downtown and bicyclists throughout the city that think a bike is a fucking vehicle. Move that piece of shit, pencil thin vehicle on the side of the street and get out the left turning lane. Please and thank you! See no asshole involved. If you drive, you know how I'm feeling!
Now, I have been dealing with my large personality on another platform lately. Business! Ugh, irritating I must tell you. I will tell you a couple anecdotes. First, I visited a small business counselor recommended to me by a friend's cousin (Senator Trotter). He reviewed my business plan and small budget. He loved the actual plan, the written business plan and he stated the numbers were promising. Within 15 minutes we came to the conclusion that he couldn't help me with grants, loans or finding investors. Regardless of our findings, he fell in love with me (not me but my potential...I'm super straight) and we talked for an extra hour. At the end of our conversation he told me that he advised many people trying to make it in the music industry (oh yeah, I have a music production company...who doesn't right?!). He stated that he never spoke to anyone that he actually believed would do the things they were speaking of (that sounds like gas in my tank though...I don't need anyone pumping my ego...I need people criticizing me to make me better!). But he felt it with me. He said he felt that I was on to something great. He said that the people he has come in contact with have had minor success but nothing major as they would hope...for various reasons (business, talent, management etc). He went on to tell me that his only concern is that my personality is too strong. How in the hell does that sound?! Too strong for who?! A weak ass African that has certificates in business education and has never owned or operated a business. Kick rocks! He pointed out that I dominated our conversation and that he was so overwhelmed by my personality he didn't know what to do. He said for 80% of investors that is very scary because it means I'm not easily controlled. To acknowledge that statement...anyone who is easily controlled is a weak ass person that no one should deal with. And anyone who has problems with strong-minded individuals can kick rocks, become a loser and die. He also advised that I need to control my intensity and learn when to take a backseat in order to get in the front seat when someone ahead of me gets out the car (I loved that analogy but I would honestly prefer to pull whoever is in the front out the car). The African gets a pass on that last one but only cause I love the analogy. But to be honest, I am never going to any small business counselors. I don't care if another mentor refers me. They can all kick rocks. Half the individuals that work at these free facilities do not have businesses, never have attempted to be an entrepreneur, barely college or high school graduates, disconnected from their career of choice and aren't worth the second hand office chairs provided to them. Moving on!
Second story: I went to a SCOREs a couple weeks back. SCOREs is an affiliate of the Small Business Administration. All the counselors are retired executives and business men. Finally, some light peaks through from the end of the tunnel right?! Wrong! An oil tycoon named Jack was my counselor there. He also took a good liking to me. He even told me that he felt old trying to keep up with all the information I deposited into his brain. But he wished I was in the oil business cause I am someone to invest in. He called me a "pure opportunists". But he said since he doesn't know my industry he wouldn't put his money in it. Other than finances there would be no resources he could extend to me. Though I wasn't asking for his money I liked that he even looked at me as he did. We talked for an hour after we quickly found out he couldn't help me. He told me that I am a large but great risk for a strong investor. He compared me to Southwest Airlines (if you don't know their development story, I suggest you research that...compelling and amazing!). He told me I would end up with someone in my industry that was in my position, and my vision refuels their career and love for the industry. But he says I am too strong for most investors. He told me network within my industry and my investor would find me. He says my personality is "gold" and "will attract leaders in the industry". Jack was a cool dude! I must say I felt his presence. I felt that even though he wasn't in my industry, he would be someone to call for advice when I am in a pickle.
Well, I don't know if I lost my way on discussing my personality. But I know I am not an asshole. I am one of the most loyal people that anyone can get to know. I guess that's where the stubborness results in me being looked upon as an asshole. Besides my infidelities, I am pretty loyal in every walk of life. Its the reason I am strong and not easily swayed. I don't fall for too many oke-dokes. I don't think this blog defends my case very well but I don't think words ever will. As great as I am, I would rather those around me (who frequently call me an asshole...LOL...Kiss my ass to you all!) carry my true legacy. I promise with all the asshole comments distributed now, no one will pass the term at my funeral. Not even among reminiscent conversations. When I think of my personality, I always try and ask "if I were to die today what would people say?". Asshole doesn't come to mind. Intimidating...yes...I know I am intimidating. In the words of T.I., "I'm 5'9 with the soul of a 6'4 nigga". Then add I'm handsome, dark complexion (and not that gray, purple dark...think Hershey's Special Dark), smart, witty, loyal, and the list goes on. I leave with this: They say the ink of a scholar is worth a thousand times more than the blood of a martyr. Well, I don't see myself dying for a cause of high magnitude so let's substitute legacy for that piece of the statement. I will go against the grain and say my legacy will be worth more than my words. I don't know how many blogs I will do. But you will never get to truly know or feel Allen the Great unless you are around me. I am a scholar in my own right (I was in Who's Who during high school). I am not the best writer and it is pretty difficult for me to express my feelings as well as Ernest Hemingway. My legacy is more important than my words. What I have done on this earth at the end of my days is more important than any rap I wrote at 12, any poem I wrote at 20, or any blog I will write. My actions will not equate being an asshole. I am great and that is what makes me intimidating! What will your legacy be?
Topic Courtesy of Kyles
Let me start off with a proper introduction. I am Allen. I am Great. That's all I think you need to know! How are you? Let me know who and how you are...or not...either way you won't bother me. Throughout these blogs you will know exactly how I feel on topics given to me. I will never choose my topics. I never blogged. I don't care for blogging. I was asked to create a blog for my lack of tack and natural willingness to offend anyone. I promised I would try it. So there you have it, my blog serves no real purpose.
Now I begin...
Throughout my life I have dealt with being called many names. I am black-in complexion and race. I think degrading -through name calling aka roasting; jone-ing; heating; the dozens- one another in many forms is one of our favorite pastimes. Our meaning black folks! As of late no one has been clever with their jokes. But I have heard darkness (hating cause I'm chocolate and sexy), blacky, tar, spot and other weak complexion roasts. As of late I have been hearing that i am stubborn. Actually, I have been called an asshole! What nerve, right?!
But I would like for everyone to replace that term with intimidating. I appreciate some of you take me to be superior and that makes you feel the need to call me an asshole. I think its pretty cute! But I am not an asshole. An asshole trips a handicap person at a stop light as they tried to cross the street. An asshole grabs on women's asses in a crowded club. An asshole calls someone at 7 am on a Saturday morning to randomly talk. Me, I curse people out if you wake me up at 7 am on Saturday morning and your Range Rover didn't catch a flat in the middle of Englewood. Me, I curse females out that try to dry hump (doggystyle) my dick in order to get my dick hard ("That hurts bitch, damn!"). Me, I truthfully have never walked an old lady or handicap person across the street. No asshole, I never had the opportunity to (middle finger to those that thought I just walked pass those individuals as they stood on the corner). But I will curse out messengers downtown and bicyclists throughout the city that think a bike is a fucking vehicle. Move that piece of shit, pencil thin vehicle on the side of the street and get out the left turning lane. Please and thank you! See no asshole involved. If you drive, you know how I'm feeling!
Now, I have been dealing with my large personality on another platform lately. Business! Ugh, irritating I must tell you. I will tell you a couple anecdotes. First, I visited a small business counselor recommended to me by a friend's cousin (Senator Trotter). He reviewed my business plan and small budget. He loved the actual plan, the written business plan and he stated the numbers were promising. Within 15 minutes we came to the conclusion that he couldn't help me with grants, loans or finding investors. Regardless of our findings, he fell in love with me (not me but my potential...I'm super straight) and we talked for an extra hour. At the end of our conversation he told me that he advised many people trying to make it in the music industry (oh yeah, I have a music production company...who doesn't right?!). He stated that he never spoke to anyone that he actually believed would do the things they were speaking of (that sounds like gas in my tank though...I don't need anyone pumping my ego...I need people criticizing me to make me better!). But he felt it with me. He said he felt that I was on to something great. He said that the people he has come in contact with have had minor success but nothing major as they would hope...for various reasons (business, talent, management etc). He went on to tell me that his only concern is that my personality is too strong. How in the hell does that sound?! Too strong for who?! A weak ass African that has certificates in business education and has never owned or operated a business. Kick rocks! He pointed out that I dominated our conversation and that he was so overwhelmed by my personality he didn't know what to do. He said for 80% of investors that is very scary because it means I'm not easily controlled. To acknowledge that statement...anyone who is easily controlled is a weak ass person that no one should deal with. And anyone who has problems with strong-minded individuals can kick rocks, become a loser and die. He also advised that I need to control my intensity and learn when to take a backseat in order to get in the front seat when someone ahead of me gets out the car (I loved that analogy but I would honestly prefer to pull whoever is in the front out the car). The African gets a pass on that last one but only cause I love the analogy. But to be honest, I am never going to any small business counselors. I don't care if another mentor refers me. They can all kick rocks. Half the individuals that work at these free facilities do not have businesses, never have attempted to be an entrepreneur, barely college or high school graduates, disconnected from their career of choice and aren't worth the second hand office chairs provided to them. Moving on!
Second story: I went to a SCOREs a couple weeks back. SCOREs is an affiliate of the Small Business Administration. All the counselors are retired executives and business men. Finally, some light peaks through from the end of the tunnel right?! Wrong! An oil tycoon named Jack was my counselor there. He also took a good liking to me. He even told me that he felt old trying to keep up with all the information I deposited into his brain. But he wished I was in the oil business cause I am someone to invest in. He called me a "pure opportunists". But he said since he doesn't know my industry he wouldn't put his money in it. Other than finances there would be no resources he could extend to me. Though I wasn't asking for his money I liked that he even looked at me as he did. We talked for an hour after we quickly found out he couldn't help me. He told me that I am a large but great risk for a strong investor. He compared me to Southwest Airlines (if you don't know their development story, I suggest you research that...compelling and amazing!). He told me I would end up with someone in my industry that was in my position, and my vision refuels their career and love for the industry. But he says I am too strong for most investors. He told me network within my industry and my investor would find me. He says my personality is "gold" and "will attract leaders in the industry". Jack was a cool dude! I must say I felt his presence. I felt that even though he wasn't in my industry, he would be someone to call for advice when I am in a pickle.
Well, I don't know if I lost my way on discussing my personality. But I know I am not an asshole. I am one of the most loyal people that anyone can get to know. I guess that's where the stubborness results in me being looked upon as an asshole. Besides my infidelities, I am pretty loyal in every walk of life. Its the reason I am strong and not easily swayed. I don't fall for too many oke-dokes. I don't think this blog defends my case very well but I don't think words ever will. As great as I am, I would rather those around me (who frequently call me an asshole...LOL...Kiss my ass to you all!) carry my true legacy. I promise with all the asshole comments distributed now, no one will pass the term at my funeral. Not even among reminiscent conversations. When I think of my personality, I always try and ask "if I were to die today what would people say?". Asshole doesn't come to mind. Intimidating...yes...I know I am intimidating. In the words of T.I., "I'm 5'9 with the soul of a 6'4 nigga". Then add I'm handsome, dark complexion (and not that gray, purple dark...think Hershey's Special Dark), smart, witty, loyal, and the list goes on. I leave with this: They say the ink of a scholar is worth a thousand times more than the blood of a martyr. Well, I don't see myself dying for a cause of high magnitude so let's substitute legacy for that piece of the statement. I will go against the grain and say my legacy will be worth more than my words. I don't know how many blogs I will do. But you will never get to truly know or feel Allen the Great unless you are around me. I am a scholar in my own right (I was in Who's Who during high school). I am not the best writer and it is pretty difficult for me to express my feelings as well as Ernest Hemingway. My legacy is more important than my words. What I have done on this earth at the end of my days is more important than any rap I wrote at 12, any poem I wrote at 20, or any blog I will write. My actions will not equate being an asshole. I am great and that is what makes me intimidating! What will your legacy be?
Topic Courtesy of Kyles
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