Good day! How are you? Leave a comment or something why don't you!
You see the subject! I want to start off by saying...I KNOW MY DAD AND HAVE AN AWESOME RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM! This blog is about an event that touched me. Its about my brothers that choose to leave their children behind and how those children are affected. Lets get into it...
This is the event that got me. Yesterday, I had to pay the T-Mobile store a visit in The Plaza. Waste of a visit but the visit setup this moment. As I left the mall a mother and her son approached. Behind them was the mother's friend and her two children (one being held by the mother and the other was walking and holding moms hand). So as the first mom approached I held the door for them to enter the mall. As they walked pass the boy asked "Excuse me, are you my daddy?". I had no response. But mom had a lot to say. She snapped "You don't fucking ask a stranger that shit! What the fuck is your problem boy?". The boy responds "Well if he isn't my daddy then Gregg must be my daddy". The friend asks "Does he always do that". Mom responds "Yes he does that embarrassing shit. His daddy ain't shit! But that don't give him reason to ask random men that bullshit". She continued to snap but she was out of my range to hear the conversation.
I am lucky to have a father. Not a daddy...sperm donor...or every now and then birthday and Christmas visitor. I have a FATHER! My father raised me to be a man and more. My father is my only father figure. My father is a lot of my friends father figure. I had an awesome family upbringing. I will live the exact same setup when the time comes to be a father and husband to some people. But out of maybe 5 to 11 people that I call friends, only two had their biological dads in their lives. Ridiculous! The reasons for their absence varies. Some are consistent criminals, drug addicts, detached from reality, started new families and more. I can't judge a situation I have never been in but I can offer an opinion. I don't think any man has an excuse for not being in their child's life. My cousin and a cat I am connected to had kids with bussas (hoes) but they are in their child's lives. They are model fathers, regardless of their situations with the mothers or their disappointment in conceiving a child with those women. Drug addicts...hey my grandfather is a drug addict. But he is the smartest, functional and loyal drug addict ever. And he was there for my mother and my three aunts (one of my aunts is not even his child and one of my other aunts is from another woman). He is a father. To this day, he is still doing what he can for them all. And he let everyone know he does drugs and has sex with lots of women. But he is there. Only excuse is death. And if you were in your child's life long enough death is not an excuse. One of my ex-girlfriends lost her father two days before her 21st bday. Another one of my ex-girlfriends lost her father on her 17th bday. Both always gave me the "my dad always said" statements and stories. If you were the father every man should be, ever word and lesson will be carried beyond the grave. My other grandfather passed in '94. I remember seeing him in the hospital. My dad always passes me the same lessons his father taught him. Damn near everytime I did or do something wrong he starts off his scolding with "You know, my dad...". LMAO! Its crazy how it seems like me and my dad made a lot of the same mistakes. In the words of my mentor, "You are your father's child".
Anyway, I have another story to tell. This is just about how ignorant some of you brothers are. When I attended NIU, I stayed on the floor with three cool sisters. We will name one of them Ugly. Ugly was a lame. As freshman, the first couple months you are open to hang with almost anyone just to filter out the people you want to get cool with. So Ugly was attempting to tell us a little about herself and mentioned she was raised by her mom. She was an only child. She told the story of the last time she saw her dad when she was 6. She said when her dad met her he said "This can't be my kid. She is ugly". Last words she has heard from her dad. #1 who the fuck tells people stories like that? That would stay in the "Hurt my feelings" chest forever. #2 how ignorant and out of order was that guy?! Shows up out of nowhere to be an asshole to his child. But the stamp he left on her was obvious. She was really insecure about her looks and (according to the young man she dated) was in need of attention and compliments 24/7. Like she verbally requested these things. Crazy! Brothers, we are the missing piece in a weak, violent, media driven, in-the-box thinking generation. I know some mothers that made up for lack of a father figure in their child's life by being strong women, marrying or dating another man, keeping uncle or grandpa involved etc. And the products of those situations came out fine sometimes. But if their biological father's were positively in their lives, they would be personally and emotionally more secure and ready for life.
Men are fathers and boys are daddys. I can't wait to raise my child. Preferably with their mother but if I have to do it solo...so be it! My three best friends on this planet are all products of a single mom household. And in every one of them I see the impacts. Insecurity issues, the constant want and need for a father figure, dependency issues and more. Its not right...to at least come from lack of a father. I'm not naive enough to just blame those effects completely on lack of a father. But at times, its obvious that's where they originated. To my brothers that read this blog...lets raise a strong generation. Having the village for backup is fine but no one can raise a child like the mother and father of that child. Lets be fathers!
It hurts my heart to post this subject.
Courtesy of The Great
Showing posts with label insecurity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insecurity. Show all posts
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Hoes and Housewives
I'm Back Joe!
As you can see the topic has been chosen. It's very easy to fall into a cliche mode by explaining the differences between a hoe or a housewife. I don't want to go there. Those titles come in degrees. Let me explain. A hoe can be broken down (or included) into sub-categories (ie bustdown, cunt, whore, slut). Contrary to popular belief, those women are not the same. What the duties of a "housewife" should be is under your own personal perception! With all that being typed, I'm not going to discuss that angle. I want to talk about how I evolved through life to go from wanting a bustdown (that's right you read it!) to wanting to make a life with a good woman.
I have been through a couple crazy relationships in my day. I remember being with my first bustdown. And when I say "being with" I mean I wifed her. How naive I was?! The signs were there, friends pleaded their case and most important of all my mom told me. Mom knows best! I remember I was coming out of a relationship with a smart and physically gifted young lady. She was nice. With the bussa, she was physically gifted but she let everyone open the gift. She caused many problems for me. I honestly can't tell you why I kept fucking with this girl. As I think back I remember being weak mentally and emotionally. I was maturing and coming into my own and much like a caterpillar you are vulnerable to things as you grow. I was into drinking (everyday) and smoking (at least two times a week). I had weak guys around me that brought me down. Some of these guys are still in my life but Im stronger than before and I dont indulge in their bullshit. Anyway, whole other subject (Friend or Foe?...sounds good). Anyway, I was dealing with my parents divorce and the many things that comes with that (ie financial, emotional, mental and family stress). What can I say she capitalized? But there definitely was a star that came and casted a light on her evils and that young lady made me want to be a better man.
In the same college arena (oh yeah, if I didnt mention...the bussa came from NIU) came a young woman that made me want to do better. She actually was the model of the woman that I probably need. She had her rumors surrounding her but I don't give a fuck about that shit. What she did for me was made me want to be better without saying shit! Much like my dad in grooming me as a player he showed me what I had to do and let my personality take over from that point on. I left NIU and she continued to encourage. She never tore me down when I was doing something wrong. Instead I would have to deal with not seeing her when I was doing something crazy or just completed being crazy. She was the first female that made me believe the most cliche black statement ever made...Behind every strong black man is a strong black woman. Before her I thought I was Superman and that everything would come to me, including success. With her I matured to know that I was vulnerable and that if I don't protect myself no one else would and that I have to work for success and every thing that comes with it. Now we are no longer together but she is one of my best friends. I have been in a couple brief relationships since and they have been great women (housewife types). To also give them credit, I have learned and continue to learn from them as they continue to be great friends.
I don't know where else to go with this subject. This is a pretty weak blog. But I feel like its evident what everyone would want in life. As a man, you want a great woman that will work, deliver boys, cook, clean and be hospitable to your visitors. As a woman, you want a great man that will work, deliver some good penis at least until you are 40, wash the dishes, be nice to visitors and pay attention to you after the game is over. But on the subject of why one may attract shitty mates...that's for you to decide. You can say opposites attract or you can also be accurate with "birds of a feather flock together". The answers aren't wrong. I personally know that the time I was with a bussa and the times that I have fucked a hoe, it was me! Me! No one else to blame. I was fucked somehow. Whether it be for the reasons detailed in college or those lonely weekend days where a brother just goes through their entire phone book to find a hit (sorry, yes that's why I called you for real...that's for those that I called or texted out of nowhere after 10 pm). Doesn't matter, I was weak. So who do I prefer, depends on when you ask!
Thanx
Ms. Brown aka My diamond in the rough
As you can see the topic has been chosen. It's very easy to fall into a cliche mode by explaining the differences between a hoe or a housewife. I don't want to go there. Those titles come in degrees. Let me explain. A hoe can be broken down (or included) into sub-categories (ie bustdown, cunt, whore, slut). Contrary to popular belief, those women are not the same. What the duties of a "housewife" should be is under your own personal perception! With all that being typed, I'm not going to discuss that angle. I want to talk about how I evolved through life to go from wanting a bustdown (that's right you read it!) to wanting to make a life with a good woman.
I have been through a couple crazy relationships in my day. I remember being with my first bustdown. And when I say "being with" I mean I wifed her. How naive I was?! The signs were there, friends pleaded their case and most important of all my mom told me. Mom knows best! I remember I was coming out of a relationship with a smart and physically gifted young lady. She was nice. With the bussa, she was physically gifted but she let everyone open the gift. She caused many problems for me. I honestly can't tell you why I kept fucking with this girl. As I think back I remember being weak mentally and emotionally. I was maturing and coming into my own and much like a caterpillar you are vulnerable to things as you grow. I was into drinking (everyday) and smoking (at least two times a week). I had weak guys around me that brought me down. Some of these guys are still in my life but Im stronger than before and I dont indulge in their bullshit. Anyway, whole other subject (Friend or Foe?...sounds good). Anyway, I was dealing with my parents divorce and the many things that comes with that (ie financial, emotional, mental and family stress). What can I say she capitalized? But there definitely was a star that came and casted a light on her evils and that young lady made me want to be a better man.
In the same college arena (oh yeah, if I didnt mention...the bussa came from NIU) came a young woman that made me want to do better. She actually was the model of the woman that I probably need. She had her rumors surrounding her but I don't give a fuck about that shit. What she did for me was made me want to be better without saying shit! Much like my dad in grooming me as a player he showed me what I had to do and let my personality take over from that point on. I left NIU and she continued to encourage. She never tore me down when I was doing something wrong. Instead I would have to deal with not seeing her when I was doing something crazy or just completed being crazy. She was the first female that made me believe the most cliche black statement ever made...Behind every strong black man is a strong black woman. Before her I thought I was Superman and that everything would come to me, including success. With her I matured to know that I was vulnerable and that if I don't protect myself no one else would and that I have to work for success and every thing that comes with it. Now we are no longer together but she is one of my best friends. I have been in a couple brief relationships since and they have been great women (housewife types). To also give them credit, I have learned and continue to learn from them as they continue to be great friends.
I don't know where else to go with this subject. This is a pretty weak blog. But I feel like its evident what everyone would want in life. As a man, you want a great woman that will work, deliver boys, cook, clean and be hospitable to your visitors. As a woman, you want a great man that will work, deliver some good penis at least until you are 40, wash the dishes, be nice to visitors and pay attention to you after the game is over. But on the subject of why one may attract shitty mates...that's for you to decide. You can say opposites attract or you can also be accurate with "birds of a feather flock together". The answers aren't wrong. I personally know that the time I was with a bussa and the times that I have fucked a hoe, it was me! Me! No one else to blame. I was fucked somehow. Whether it be for the reasons detailed in college or those lonely weekend days where a brother just goes through their entire phone book to find a hit (sorry, yes that's why I called you for real...that's for those that I called or texted out of nowhere after 10 pm). Doesn't matter, I was weak. So who do I prefer, depends on when you ask!
Thanx
Ms. Brown aka My diamond in the rough
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
