Interracial Couples/Dating

Hey you! Thanx first timer and big ups to my recurring visitors!

To all you weak people, strap on your seatbelt and get ready for some bumpy jibberish corny people call "real talk". By the way, that had to be the most horrible way to say '"I'm serious!". Hands down nothing else pissed me off by March '06 like "real talk" and "swagger" and a 35 year old asain mother with three children in the car, driving a 98 Toyota Camry in the far left-hand lane on the Dan Ryan going East (the 94 runs East/West) at 630 am (means no traffic) at a speed of 53 mph and decreasing every second. UGH!!!! Real talk and swagger should go down as the most misused and overused words of '06, '07 and '08. Ok, I'm done with that topic. Read the title...struck a nerve when it was given to me too. Some of you will relate to me and some of you won't understand a scenario or emotion discussed, but this is about Knowing Allen. I am not here to educate you on these topics. Ok, on with it as the Brits would say...

My second love was an Asain woman. Man! Surprised the shit out of me too when I realized it. I even had to stop typing and read that a few times. As you get to know the man behind this blog, you will find out that I am about uplifting my people. Actually with my aspirations and in my extracurricular activities I encourage people of all races, but I am truly on raising my family name to a higher name in power and shaking my black people of some of their slave habits (which I must admit...no black person has shaken all of their slave mentality in my personal opinion). Therefore, dating outside my race was never an option until I met Ms. Gold (not her real name by the way...only she will know how I translated her name into 'gold'). To be honest, we were brought together after a longtime of being ghost to one another. Our former BFFs are in a relationship. Her former BFF and my former BFF raved about us to each other for maybe three years before we met. Crazy, right! I thought the woman didn't exist. I thought she was as much of a lie as the devil (shouts out to all my church heads). No way I am at most of the important family functions or house parties or just with my homie a hell of a lot and seeing his woman and never seeing her BFF. Anyway, the first night we all hung out we hit it off. I mean it was corny! Like "When Harry Met Sally" corny. Like "27 Dresses" corny. We went to the club (which at the time I didn't do). They got me out because I popped over my homie crib and they were getting dressed and she showed up to ride with them. She convinced me to ride after seeing me (probably thought a brother was decent lol). So we go out to The Buzz on a Thursday. She and my homie chick had plug so we in VIP getting free drinks and looking out at the crowd with the "Yea I'm important" face on lol. I think I was hot that night cause I had about three bad chicks come at me. Now I was no longer in the VIP (so no it wasn't on no gold digging shit...cause I had no haircut and went in my work clothes...which was an ensemble of a button-down shirt, sweater, jeans and some Kenneth Coles...nothing major). I'm a wanderer in the club. I don't like standing in one place for an hr to move to another spot to stand in for another hour like its a party at the Unemployment Office. So after about an hour of wandering, Ms. Gold found me and started dancing. LOL...this is about to sound so corny. We danced until the club shut down. I'm talking major eye contact, non-stop attention. So we leave she gives me a hug and did one of the Top Three most sexiest things a female has ever done to me. After the hug, I was opening her door to send her off with my guy, his girl and another friend and she slowly grabs my face with both hands and kissed me. I thought I was on "Dawsons Creek". On some real shit it may have been one of the few times I closed my eyes when I kissed. I think the only others I have done that with is a female I'm involved with now and my angel in college. So everything escalated from that point on.

So I have experience in an interracial relationship. Though I never introduced her as my girlfriend, that's what she was. The subject of interracial relationships has many different struggles and benefits. In my personal experience, I have felt more benefit than struggles. With my Asian counterpart I found a lot of knowledge exchange, culture exchange and refreshment. We naturally gelled. But the benefits really can come from any female to be honest. The uniqueness of being in an interracial relationship comes from insecurities from both parties and disgust from outside parties. So let's keep it real and interesting. I know you all don't want to hear about how much I loved being with her at our great days so...

I found it difficult being with her to be honest. First of all, at the time I was a playboy (emphasis on -boy). She was an awesome mate and friend. She was physically attractive, intelligent, cook, clean, submissive, strong, loyal, independent, blah, blah, blah. She was a woman! So when she came along presenting these long-term qualities it shocked me. It really scared me. Taking all race away, my infidelities started with me not being a man before it had anything to do with temptation. Its weird but I was so immature that I sabotaged the relationship. Now add in that she is Asian and we have a few more problems. Starting within the relationship, the way an Asian resolves an issue in a relationship is so different from how a black person may resolve an issue. For instance, most black people are filled with drama. If we have an issue we step to it with no regard for anyone. Not her! She was hesitant to stick up for herself at times for fear of losing friends or burning bridges. Fuck that...sometimes the shit needs to be done. Ok, that may not be a great example but you know what I mean. We different. The way we are raised is different. The way we think is different. Everything is different and it comes out in the mist of a relationship. Its inevitable. Sometimes I found her being Asian to be a problem for me. I found myself having to deal with the fact she was Asian and I was black. I'm not going to stunt, I think I wrestled with the issue for a while myself. I think that it was natural. Check these facts: grew up on a black block, first half of my life I was educated with my own people, never conversed with anyone outside my race (except my pediastrian) until high school, and before Ms. Gold I never approached or dated women outside my race. So to be perfectly honest, she was the first female outside my race I have ever been seen with. The places I socialize, dine, shop, etc., you barely see anyone but black people. I mean be real, when was the last time you saw a white guy at Mr. G's, Home of the Hoagie, Roseland shopping strip, etc. That's my area. I mean it was crazy! But when I did shake the awkwardness, I started feeling the eyes! Ugh! I hate the eyes. Its like damn, "WTF are you looking at?!" It makes me crazy!

Seeing interracial relationships are not uncommon. Soon they will have to have combination races on applications. Its getting crazy! That's why I don't understand why people are still upset. You hear a lot of comedians discuss black women that are unhappy with black men dating outside their races. Personally, I see how it happens. Not going to get into it but the appreciation is crazy. And that's not to discredit the sisters that I have been with. I know two that specifically are equally or greater women. And they were some of the most humble and most appreciative women I know. Anyway, I don't really know what else to discuss. That's my story.

Dating outside your race is definitely harder work. I can only imagine how hard it may be for those that go to have long relationships and drop kids...what do you raise your child as? How do you explain why kids are saying they aren't really black or white or asain etc? Starting and keeping the relationship is difficult but that has to be nuts. I want all my readers to keep an openmind to interracial dating. I wonder, if Barrack was fully black, would he be taking office in 09? And I'm talking about my complexion black too. That "Damn, he black!"-black. Anyway, another weak blog in the books. Subjects anyone! Hit me up.






Courtesy of "My Sibling"